Resting in the Uncomfortable Space: A Diary of Transparent Truth

I DON’T WANT TO BE AN ENTREPRENEUR ANYMORE!

At least tonight that is how I feel!  I am over it! I don’t want to write this blog post right now, but since I am feeling this intense emotion right now, I figure there is someone else out there feeling the exact same way!

I am tired.

I have been busting my butt for 2 years now to be constantly overlooked.

I am tired of people positing happy go lucky stuff about their businesses and I am sitting here in the corner pouting.

And then there’s life… that!

LOL That is why I haven’t been doing any videos and blog posting because I am officially debbie downer, party pooper, down and out and feeling sorry for myself.  Everything I am not supposed to be.  Everything all the top guns, preachers and prophets say you shouldn’t be, well doggone it, I  AM THERE!  I don’t want to be spreading my negative energy to the world!  So I got off Facebook for a while, just monitored my business account, shut down to new clients, purged a few that were unproductive and now…..well I am in a rut.  It’s not that I don’t have content, its not that I don’t have people interested in my services, shoot as a matter of fact I started a new venture that is important to my purpose, but the way I feel mentally and physically and spiritually, I am just flat out burnt out!

And I keep racking my brain, like what is wrong with you Ebone? Why can’t you be motivating and encouraging and have all these great things to say?  And I am beating myself up and so I am just praying and seeking God in it and He just keeps telling me, I am the driver of this boat.  You just do what I say.  So when He tells me to write, I write.  When He says Ebone post, I post!  When He tells me to sit down somewhere, I do it.  I am no longer the CEO and Founder of Living Faith Management and Consulting, Chronicles of a New Entrepreneur and Professional Development with EK.  I am now in the backseat waiting for my orders.  It is an uncomfortable place.  I am used to being in control and taking control over EVERYTHING!  It is just a weird place that I am in because I don’t want you all to confuse this place that I am in with unhappiness.  I don’t know how to put it into words, but I am completely content with where I am at this point in this journey.  I know God has a plan, I fully have trust in Him, I KNOW He is going to do what He says He is going to do.  I am simply in unfamiliar territory.  I am in a place that many discuss after the fact.  This is what books are made of…the journey…the hardships…the self discovery.

I have absolutely no idea what the outcome of this place I am in will be. And its okay!  I want to let you know, fellow entrepreneur, that is reading this.  WE…yes YOU AND ME…cause we are going through this together! HAHA WE will remain FAITHFUL in this moment, okay!  We will not give up! We will not let people belittle or downgrade us!  We will post 2 times a week instead of everyday but AT LEAST WE ARE POSTING!  We will conduct business!  We will keep pushing in that 9-5! We will keep praying and fasting and we will confess success and elevation!  We will request the Lord to equip us with every single ounce of knowledge and strength and to active our power in Jesus name and we WILL support one another on this journey.  This place is okay…..trust Him…it will be worth it!

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